just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
