All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
wow bdsm is so cute
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
