YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
