Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
bring money and cleavage
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
