Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
