HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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