yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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