just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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