Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
