That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
