i just sent this text using only my big toe
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
