I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
