Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
do herpes really smell.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
