The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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