Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
