wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
