things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
