I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
