he puts the penis in happiness.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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