There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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