yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
