Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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