with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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