Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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