: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
