Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
