Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
