His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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