Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
