Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
