having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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