I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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