At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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