Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
