at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
