Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
