Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She is in my trunk
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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