first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
