you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
