Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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