hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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