well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
