tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
