whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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