i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
