I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
