sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
