Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
