Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
