feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
