i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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