im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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