we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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