Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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